hey world .
this few days , im not in a good mood at all . i just dont know what to do , what to say and what-so-ever . damn it . really hate this situation . rasa macam budak tak matang because i cant solve my own problem . i just can cry , non stop . yeah . thats me . luar nampak ganas , dalam lembut gila . maybe . if i have any problem , i dont like to share it with anyone . i prefer to be silence . dont like people around me knows that im having a problem right now . thats the reason why i cant control my mood , and finally , i cry . hewh . i still can smile , i still can laugh . but no one knows what i feel inside . its killing me .
SHE : zyda sayang paktam lagi ?
ME : * looking at fadzly's face . he saw im looking at him and he smile * ntah lah anna . i dont know what i feel right now about him .
SHE : anna tau zyda sayang dia lagi . and anna tau dia sayang zyda jugak .
ME : hm i really want to be with him . tapi anna tau jela perangai dia macam mana .
SHE : zyda bagi dia masa . dia still dalam mood enjoy . maybe dia jadi macam tu sebab korang berjauhan .
ME : yeahh maybe .
SHE : andika ada cerita pasal dia dekat segamat . tak sangka dia bole jadi sebodoh - bodoh alam . turut je apa yang orang kata . plus , dia ikut perangai mak dia . suka memberi and people around him , menerima saja .
ME : huh ? tak faham .
i cant continue write the conversation atas sebab - sebab tertentu .
ME : hm nevermind . zyda bagi dia masa untuk fikir . zyda dah penat nak bergaduh dengan dia . nak bertengkar semua bagai .
SHE : yeahh you should . tengok lah tu . tak habis - habis tengok zyda .
ME : * looking at him back and smile *
yeahh . i still love him . i just
fuck you zyda . you have a boyfriend right now . why you still thinking about him . oh god .
can you just put yourself in my shoes . then you tell me what you feel . i bet you cant . so you better shut up before i put something inside your asshole . bloody hell !
im standing infront of him . and yeahh . kena dongak sebab dia tinggi . sakit gila tengkuk . and ...
' i give you time until you reach 21 years old . then you decide whether you want me or not . i give you time to enjoy your life . ada satu perkara je yang org nak awak janji , stop being too kind with people . please okay . mak abah cari duit susah - susah . bukan nya dorang keluar pagi balik petang cop duit , tapi mencari duit . awak jangan lah senang - senang belanja kawan - kawan terbaik awak dekat campus uh sampai diri awak sendiri tak ada duit . after this , orang dah tak nak dengar lagi pasal awak bagi duit dekat orang . i know mak selalu memberi . but mak kerja and ada duit untuk diri sendiri . but you , mak abah yang bagi duit . think about it carefully okay . next semester , org akan suruh andika tengok - tengok kan awak . do it for me boleh ken? '
sometimes my friends told me that im too kind . bagi muka sangat . guys , every person ada hak untuk diberi peluang untuk berubah . dont punish them . i bet some of you ada buad kesalahan bodoh juga kan . as a conclusion , i just set in my mind , between age 18 to 21 , some of boys main - main dalam hubungan . but no worry , at the end , he will choose the best to be his life partner . and only Allah knows about it . so i just let him do whatever he want to do . okay bye .
